Flooded by God

I was woken up by a husband with a hurting back who couldn't sleep  . . . in the early morning hours . . . so that gave me an early morning.  This was good!  A blessing.  We are hosting twenty guests overnight at our home so . . . yeah . . . AND as life is never perfect, we have been processing\battling\fighting for a loved one who as we all are is on a journey and at times the spiritual success or failures bring so many emotions and fears and tears that quiet time with the Lord is so very needed and loved!!!

I wasn't planning on getting out and walking or running this morning.  The snow had almost a melted away and dissipated when we accumulated another foot plus more for good measure.  It looked cold and this is a day of rest after all . . . But God called me out . . . and I ran . . .

I decided this morning that even more than my leg muscles, my lung muscles are weak and wimpy.  Such wheezing and panting . . . my legs after slowing down to a walk again could run some more, but my lungs couldn't take it anymore . . .

The air . . . the oxygen . . .  is so VAST and always around me, ABUNDANT . . . being poured out and SURROUNDED . . . I am immersed in life-giving air . . .  and as I am gasping and desperate, I am gulping, heaving, grasping for more air . . .

The same is happening and has happened in my spiritual life . . . and this morning again, I am desperate . . . desperate for comfort, for hope, for help, for strength, for endurance and stamina . . . desperate for MERCY and forgiveness  . . . for GRACE . . . for love, for His presence, His peace . . .

I pray all these things and more for my loved one . . . but in the midst of the battle, I am stopped by my own needs and emotions that I fall before the throne for  my own weak, weary, heartbroken self  . . .

This morning, the ALMIGHTY God reminds me . . . that His love, mercy, forgiveness, grace are all around me, surrounding me like the air I am breathing, gasping in . . .  and it is SO OVERWHELMINGLY much that I can never make use of it all . . . but it's there for the taking . . . there for the breathing and living and awaking to new life and strength, to new growth and abundant grace to my loved one as I grow and mature . . . as I weep and pray . . . as I mourn and rejoice . . .as I live and die . . .

Malachi 3:10 New King James Version (NKJV)
"Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the Lord of hosts,
“If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it."

Honesty

. . . It is humbling . . . To be open . . . It is vulnerable . . . Yet, out of this there is sweetness . . . And I honor God, when I tell of how He has and how He is working in my messes and jumbles of mistakes and humanity . . . Once again yesterday and this morning I was WhatsApping with a friend and sharing part of my heart and life and how God is there for me . . . It is one of the ways I have come to realize that He wants me to walk . . . In openness . . . In being transparent . . . In being honest about my mistakes and my doubts and fears . . . And in the ways that He answers and holds my hand . . . And that can get v.e.r.y personal . . . Too personal to share on here . . . But one on one it can happen . . . And it can be a blessing . . . I have been blessed by others honesty and bravery . . . By their boldness and lack of pride . . . Sing His praises, my friend, tell of His goodness in the land of the living . . . Don't hide it all till the next life . . .