Farwell

Yesterday I said goodbye to my hubby . . .

Wayne doesn't mind spending LOTS of time with his Papa! He really likes being in his carrier . . . that is an awefully good thing!

God is with us . . . last evening flew by. Kurt is staying here also. His big brothers are off in foreign lands and at SMBI right now. Lee, I think, is now in Packistan.

Anway, after getting everyone's room finished cleaning and settled in. Kurt vacuumed most of the carpets in the house. Laura and Pearl entertained the children with stories. They are such a help! After supper we ALL went out on a walk under the myriad of stars and fresh air. Ah . . . it's been awhile! Then we made bars and played games. Bedtime rolled around and I couldn't sleep till midnight. Hopefully though my nerves will settle down and a "new" normal will take hold in this household. Thanks for your prayers. Like the song at the funeral, "We are not alone, God is with us . . ."

Bills and Japeth actually take off at 8:25 this morning. The flight across the ocean leaves at 11:45. That is a 14 hour long flight. Thanks again for your prayers!

David and Daisy - A Good Name

I encourage anyone who has or has had a miscarriage to give their baby a name.  Someday in heaven we will get to meet those we never knew here on earth.  I feel so much more connected just by naming them!

Also we have given our children a special verse or verses along with the meaning of their names.  For example with Japheth Jr. we chose chose Psalm 107, especially the verses, 29 and 30.  “He calms the storm, so that the.waves thereof are still.  Then they are glad because they are quiet;   So He guides them to their desired haven.”  It meant so much to me over the time Japheth was born

Japheth means God shall enlarge (Also Papa’s name of course!).  
Daniel we picked for several reasons.  First off we like Biblical names of heroes of the faith. Second it is a family name, my Grandfather Daniel Pierce who I have fond memories of.  Thirdly, but not least, we not knowing what the future holds wish for our son to stand strong even it separated from family, hostage or persecuted in a foreign land.  

Jeremiah – after the weeping prophet.  May God reign so much in his heart that he will weep over the lost ness of wayward people and call them to God.  
The song, “May I Use Your Eyes” by Judi Yoder comes to mind.
Frank – after my Dad.  Thinking of just being honest and frank about what one has to say.
I chose the verse Psalm 9:10 “And they that KNOW Thy name will put their trust in Thee;  For Thou, Lord has not forsaken them that seek Thee.”  That my son would really know God and trust in Him and seek Him and find God faithful!

David and Daisy –  “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  Job 1:21b  My twins.  The Lord has bountifully given, the Lord has taken away.  God doesn’t make mistakes; He knows what is best.  I will bless His name whatever He does!  Maybe God knew that my “cup” was full and I wouldn’t be able to handle two more babies at that time  . . .  but He still gave them to me . . .  I just don’t have them NOW.  God is taking very good care of them anyway, much better than I would have been able to. . .  and they are SAFE, already in heaven, no need to worry or fret over their spiritual wellbeing!

I was just at the end of my first trimester.  We had traveled in East to visit friends and family.  There was stress involved in some relationships on the way.   My heart was grieving over the direction people dear to me were taking.  My Grandmother Francis Showalter had died while we were in PA visiting Japheth’s Grandparents.  We braved the winter storm and headed down to VA for the funeral.  It was sad in the fact that besides family only a few other people that you might could count on your fingers were there.   She was the last one of my Grandparents.  I never really knew them in my adulthood, by then they were gone and Grandma had Alzheimer’s.  I wish I knew more of their lives, their thoughts and feelings.  I wish I could’ve conversed with them about life.  

We were tired of being away from home for two weeks and were ready to be home again.  We were to leave the next morning.  I had started bleeding a day or two before and then the contractions.  We not having experienced a miscarriage before didn’t know what to do.  Our midwife was back home . . . we talked on the phone a bit.  Finally we decided that before anything major happens we should go in and see if we could save the baby.  We drove into the ER and were just getting the paperwork down when I felt a POP and realized it was too late.  They wheeled me on into a room and the doctor delivered the baby.  He didn’t want me to see it.  I protested.  So later they brought my baby to us to look at.  We couldn’t see anything but a fist sized glob of bloody mass.  

I was disappointed.  I didn’t know that the placenta wraps itself around the baby at this early age.  We grieved over our loss.  The doctor wanted me to have a DNC;  we weren’t sure we wanted that, but we really wanted to travel home the next day so we finally agreed.  I think the other baby was still inside me and they took it out in the DNC.  They never told us that, but I surmised that is what happened.  We didn’t know it was twins until a couple weeks later we received a letter stating that it appears that we had twins.  

Then I had all these regrets.  For one why did we allow the DNC done.  Couldn’t we just have waited it out and let God cleanse my womb?  Why didn’t we bring our baby along home and pull apart the placenta and see our baby with our own eyes.  A friend of mine told me about her miscarriage and how the baby was so perfectly formed at about the same age.  Why?  Why, didn’t we think of such things?  At least we could’ve had a little grave somewhere.   And so my heart cried.

In the ER I wanted to give this child that I couldn’t see and that was gone a name.  I had wanted to name one of our girls Daisy.   Japheth wasn’t so keen on that name.  I had given it up . . . now maybe we could name this child Daisy.  We wouldn’t be using it on a regular basis . . .  This was my flower in heaven.  My dear husband graciously granted my request and so Daisy she became.

We left that morning as soon as we could get out of the hospital and packed.  On the way home Japheth purchased a bouquet of daises for me.

When we got the letter in the mail stating that there was another baby,  I marveled at God’s hand.   Truly, God does not give you more than you can bear.   The thought of having four children two and under was tiring to say the least.  I rejoiced that God still gave them to me anyway . . .  I just have to wait longer to see them and get to know them.   I rejoice that they are already with Jesus!  I thought the name David fit so well with Daisy.  We both liked that name, but as it is so common we probably wouldn’t have used it on a full term child.  David, a friend of God  . . .

Jewel – “You shall come to the grave at a full age, as a sheaf of grain ripens in its season..“ Job 5:26  No, Jewel was only several weeks along, but God called her home.  It was His time, her season was over.  She was just at the beginning of being formed into a beautiful “bud” ripe for what God wanted her.

The day before I miscarried here I thought I might lose this one too.  I read Malachi 3:17 “They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, on the day that I make up my jewels in heaven. . . “ So I named this one Jewel.  

Loraine – is my middle name and means brave in battle.  In the battle in this life there is much spiritual warfare, may she do her part in battling with a brave heart.

Rose – the lovely fragrant flower.  May her life emit a fragrance that honors our awesome God!
Her verse Psalm 90:17  “And let the beauty of the Lord be upon us and establish the work of our hands upon us, yea the work of our hands establish thou it.”   She is such a busy little girl may the Lord establish the work of  her hands and may the beauty of the Lord, His love, patience, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness etc. be upon her and shine through her life.

Wayne Robert – actually means wagon maker.  We named him after his Grandpa Robert (Bob) who is a cabinet maker and one of the most honest, upright men I know, following God with all his heart.  

I chose Isaiah 43:16 and 19a “Thus says the Lord, who maketh a WAY in the sea and a path through the mighty waters . . .  Behold I will do a new thing.  Now it shall spring forth.  Shall you not know it?

And our next baby’s verse is Psalm 108:13 “Through God we shall do valiantly.  For  it is He who shall tread down our enemies.”

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.”  Proverbs 22:1

God's Words of Comfort

“Have you not know”
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary . . . “ Isaiah 40:28a

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with me . . .” 43:2

We have been having cabin fever. The children are wild with energy. They don’t want to play outside, although it hasn’t been too cold for them to go for a bit. I was about to go insane . . .

Then like a breath of fresh air, yesterday morning my husband watched the children for me while I went to town BY MYSELF! This was a special occasion indeed. In fact so much so that I woke up at 3:30 that morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Well, it wasn’t all that . . . I started thinking about some things I wanted to do the next few weeks while Japheth and Wayne will be in Thailand and I would have a eleven year old girl and an eight year old staying here with me.

Yes, plans are finally in order now for Wayne’s eye surgery. We have been praying and seeking God for direction and we feel led to have it done in Thailand. (Japheth can explain in more depth later) They fly out Tuesday morning. They as in Japheth, Wayne, and the Hesses who are going along to have their 13 year old daughter operated on as. I’m so glad Japheth has someone to travel that LOOOOOONG flight with.

Last time we went to Thailand it was just Japheth and I (I was about 5 months pregnant) and it was so wearing. I couldn’t imagine taking a baby along!!!! Maybe for some it’s not so bad, but I CANNOT sleep while in car or bus or airplane or airports. I often have desperately wished that God had wired me different, but God doesn’t make mistakes and so I make comfort myself with that fact.

Anyway I was got up and made a schedule for while the other two Hess girls will be here and laid out a plan for us to do some special project each day, like going to the library, making cookies for the freezer, visiting at the nursing home, sewing little girl dresses, sledding, making meals for the freezer (Can you tell I’m stocking up for baby?), making comforts, de-boning chicken, going to thrift stores, ect.

It was exciting too in the fact that I would have one less to care for, though I will miss my baby LOTS!!!, and I would have two older girls here with helping hands (When we aren't having school). Maybe I could feel caught up with things for once!?!? Thus sleep eluded me.

Yes, yesterday I came home feeling sane again. There’s just something about being walled in with four rowdy children four and under that drives a person insane at times.

I think it is the mess factor. Now that we are blessed with three levels of house space, I find myself following the children from floor to floor cleaning up the messes they leave behind. For example, it is wash day, so I go down to the basement to hang up the laundry and forget to bring Loraine down with me. She is a very BUSY little body especially in my kitchen where she will climb and put a cup of salt into one of her older brother’s bowls of soup that he was to eat at the next meal because he didn’t finish it at the last mealtime! So I remember her up there . . . dash up to find her on the counter doing that. Discipline comes and I am trying to clean up when I realize the boys went upstairs to “play house” and they have ransacked the place. Then I call Japheth Jr. down to help hang up some of the wash, but as the clothes line is high (I can barely reach) there isn’t much he can do. (We do have a wooden foldable clothesline that he uses. It is a blessing!)

Finally, that load is hung and we all go upstairs to repair the damage done in the boys room. Meanwhile Wayne has woken up from his nap and is howling on the main floor for attention and a bottle. So leaving the children with a few instructions on how to clean up their mess, I retreat to take care of Wayne only to come back up and the boys have left their jobs and are playing again. And so in circles we go!

Now not every day is this way . . . but I am glad that My God faints not neither is weary, for on Him I have to lean. And when the “waters “of messes overwhelm my soul I cling to His “I will be with thee.”

And just as I was writing this I had to stop and administer the rod as my boys were not being quiet and going to sleep as I told them to. So with the “canning” came wails that woke up the two youngest who have just begun their naps.

Isaiah’s word of “and through the rivers they will not overflow you.” comes to comfort me again and bring strength to my soul.

What would I do without God?

Friends

There have been new batch of bloggers amongst my aquaintances.

This girl was an old schoolmate of mine years ago.

Seasons of Grace goes way back too. She is a friend and cousin of one of my best friends from childhood. I have Krista to thank for many of my out-of-state friends.

It was through Krista also that I learned to know Michelle at a youth camp in PA. I found out that Michelle was my twin and later we ended up at Maranatha a term together. The bond has stuck since then and we often chat over the phone.

Thank - You, God, for the gift of friends . . . old and new. They are special! They understand and care . . . They help you through blue days. They celebrate joys with you.

"A friend loveth at all times . . ." Proverbs 17:17




"Rejoice with those that do rejoice,
and weep with those that weep."
Romans 12:15

In Triumph on High

I keep seeing in my mind the painting of Krystal . . . in white raiment, face radiant, a sparkling crown upon her head and in the background the New Jerusalem.

Japheth told me at the gravesite one of the first songs they sang was Lift Your Glad Voices in Triumph on High . . . "

" He burst from the fetters of darkness that bound him resplendant in glory . . " Someday this to can be us.

"She who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess her name before My Father and before His angels." Rev.3:5

Life here on earth is not for fun; it's a real battle that we need despartly to win! . . . But as the song that SMBI sang "We are not alone, our God is with us now . . ." With Him we can be an overcomer!

As we take the torch that Krystal left behind, we too can touch many lives as Jesus flows through us!

The Weekend

Want to here about the weekend? I can't find the words right now . . . my friend at "This Side of Glory" says it so well.

Every Man That Hath This Hope

There is sorrow about the physical death of our friend, Krystal . . .but there is an excitement that is beyond this world.  She’s HOME!  I, for one find myself wishing that is would be my turn to go also.  I can’t wait to be there in heaven . . .  with Jesus . . .  around the throne . . . an over comer . . . a victorious one . . . welcomed by saints, by loved ones gone before!   What a joyous celebration!

And so today, again, I search my heart.  Am I ready to be called at any moment?  There are things I need to adjust in my day to day activities,  and so I purify myself.  I don’t want to miss such a great salvation!  What a Savior we have!!!  What a privilege to be allowed to enter into that land of pure delight!  I will make my calling and election sure.

“And every man
that hath this hope in him
purifieth himself,
even as He is pure.”  
I John 3:3