Heart Hunger

If you have never read Anita's blog, you need to read it today.   What she says in her two part series about that deep heart hunger that we all have, connected with me . . . Though i could never have put it into words like she did . . .

https://lifeisforlivingbook.com/2019/04/25/the-seduction-of-sehnsuht/?fbclid=IwAR0zGCTLvoiRagwnFMTVrdUTpRkaRxOEPORB3w-wFnq1712qp4hqiDOB-c8

Weeds and Honesty

I noticed when I passed by the rhubarb this morning that there was some grass in my tea patch . . .  This afternoon, I wanted to do something profitable in the sunshine rather than just sit on my swing in front of the house.  As I was weeding, I realized that I was thanking God for these weeds . . . AND really meaning it! . . .  Not sure I have EVER thanked God for weeds that were growing where I didn't want them to grow.

I do sometimes thank God for particular things in life that I wonder how there can be any good in  . . . like the Bible tells us to do . . .  "In EVERYTHING give thanks . . ."

And like Betsy ten Boom's example of giving thanks for even the fleas BEFORE they saw how SOME good could come from them . . .  I was gving thanks to Him in my mind . . .and verbalizing it out loud to the sunshine as I worked, because I know it is good to verbalize things as well :) . . . But I honestly DID see good reason to communicate my thanks as I was glad to get my fingers in the dirt, soak up a bit more sunshine and breathe more fresh air.  I truly WAS grateful for these weeds and not having the only reason be that " in this trial, the only real good thing that I can see right now is that I CAN DRAW CLOSER to God through this experience\thing that He has allowed".

I am lovin' the warmer weather and the sunshine that is being poured out on me.  God's gifts from above are wonderful!

Flooded by God

I was woken up by a husband with a hurting back who couldn't sleep  . . . in the early morning hours . . . so that gave me an early morning.  This was good!  A blessing.  We are hosting twenty guests overnight at our home so . . . yeah . . . AND as life is never perfect, we have been processing\battling\fighting for a loved one who as we all are is on a journey and at times the spiritual success or failures bring so many emotions and fears and tears that quiet time with the Lord is so very needed and loved!!!

I wasn't planning on getting out and walking or running this morning.  The snow had almost a melted away and dissipated when we accumulated another foot plus more for good measure.  It looked cold and this is a day of rest after all . . . But God called me out . . . and I ran . . .

I decided this morning that even more than my leg muscles, my lung muscles are weak and wimpy.  Such wheezing and panting . . . my legs after slowing down to a walk again could run some more, but my lungs couldn't take it anymore . . .

The air . . . the oxygen . . .  is so VAST and always around me, ABUNDANT . . . being poured out and SURROUNDED . . . I am immersed in life-giving air . . .  and as I am gasping and desperate, I am gulping, heaving, grasping for more air . . .

The same is happening and has happened in my spiritual life . . . and this morning again, I am desperate . . . desperate for comfort, for hope, for help, for strength, for endurance and stamina . . . desperate for MERCY and forgiveness  . . . for GRACE . . . for love, for His presence, His peace . . .

I pray all these things and more for my loved one . . . but in the midst of the battle, I am stopped by my own needs and emotions that I fall before the throne for  my own weak, weary, heartbroken self  . . .

This morning, the ALMIGHTY God reminds me . . . that His love, mercy, forgiveness, grace are all around me, surrounding me like the air I am breathing, gasping in . . .  and it is SO OVERWHELMINGLY much that I can never make use of it all . . . but it's there for the taking . . . there for the breathing and living and awaking to new life and strength, to new growth and abundant grace to my loved one as I grow and mature . . . as I weep and pray . . . as I mourn and rejoice . . .as I live and die . . .

Malachi 3:10 New King James Version (NKJV)
"Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the Lord of hosts,
“If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it."

Dark, Dry, Cold

My daughter was given an Amaryllis bulb by her grandmother.  It has bloomed beautifully.  As I was talking with the neighbor friend who stopped in yesterday about how to care for it the rest of the year, I started pondering the lesson of the Amaryllis bulb.  After cutting the sturdy stalk off to an inch of the bulb and then letting it grow and fertilizing it during the summer.  It is to be stored\put away in a dormant state where it is kept dry, cool and dark.  I find that fascinating . . .  Isn't it interesting how God made some plants\ bulbs to need the darkness,  and the dryness and the cold for a season.  I just plopped my baby girlie who recently turned one into her crib for a time of rest\solitude\quiet and sleep.  Often times these things we sometimes wish we could eliminate from our lives are what makes it possible to flourish and bloom again . . . If for a season, we need be . . .

"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."  - I Peter 5:10 NKJV

Sunday Afternoon Musings

I have fresh herbs at various stagesof early growth in tin pots on my bedroom windowsill. This makes me happy.  I have a new addition to the empty wall along side that same window, a fairly long rectangular mirror with five hooks at the bottom and the frame painted white.  This brings me an exuberant amount of joy as well!

It is Sunday afternoon . . . A quiet time in this household, thanks to a faithful, steady husband who every Sunday issues this degree that it shall be naptime from such and such a time to the time determined by the determined father.

Rest . . . Reflection . . . Discussions . . . Prayer . . . Musing . . . Reading, writing, sharing . . .

Outside I can hear the traffic . . . Inside, the inside of me hears the Father . . . And I try to calm myself as a weaned child, knowing I need to trust the Father more . . . Knowing he is calling me to this . . . Hearing His whispers of love and leading . . .

Refreshment

My daily walks/excursions/bike rides/exercise has become the focal point for me this spring.  At first I started going because I needed exercise and that seemed better than using my elliptical machine indoors.  Then, they exploded with the joy of capturing moments in time and particular places and scenes, of fresh air and silence, of time alone away from the bustling household and clingy babies, of exploring nearby roads and picking flowers (Yes, even in this snow covered North land ) My mind clears and returns,  refocused and energetic, ready to continue giving to my family and enjoying the good things in life.

Pussy Willows

The first "flowers" of spring wear soft, grey, brand-new fur coats!!!😃